August 1, 2009

Dealing with difficult soccer parents

Some soccer parents are so passionate about their kids soccer ambitions (there's a fine line between the child's ambition and the parents ambition) that they are just difficult to deal with.

But difficult doesn't have to mean impossible (especially if you're a parent of a future Asia soccer star).

Sometimes,  a little understanding and strategic communication is all it takes to get them on side. Soccer parents need to be on side to motivate and inspire their kids, but they also need to make sure the coach keeps the authority and respect to command the best from each member of the team.

May be you can recognize some of these traits being shown by parents at soccer matches or even at soccer training sessions. May be you recognize some of these traits within yourself:

• The dictator: This is someone who bullies and constantly demands. Deal with a dictator by responding to his or her tirades in a calming and disarming way. Change your method of communication – from apologetic or passive to firm and assertive, for example.

• The know-it-all: An expert who has an opinion on everything. But when found to be in the wrong  s/he will pass the buck. Know-it-all invariably enjoy making people feel insecure – therefore, you must affirm your self-confidence. Limit your responses and offer other considerations without necessarily totally disagreeing with a point of view.

• The yes person: This person will promise everything under the sun, but rarely delivers. S/he may be charming, but lacks any real credibility. Have them state a deadline and then point out a list of possible obstacles that may hinder the time scale.

• The wet blanket: The opposite of the yes person, the wet blanket is forever talking about why things don’t work. Negative and pessimistic, s/he is resistant to change. Pin them down to facts. Success in dealing with them means moving from emotion to fact.

• The passive: The passive never lets you know where s/he stands by avoiding controversy at all costs and never offering ideas or opinions. Ask open-ended questions that initiate conversation. Reassure that it’s acceptable to disagree.

Many times, difficult soccer parents pass on their triaits to their kids, who inevitably bring them to the soccer training sessions and matches through a spectrum of emotions from aggression to a complete lack of confidence.

So the message is clear to parents, if you want your child to become a future Asian soccer star playing professional soccer, you need to curb your behaviour and let the coaches do their job.

Filed under blog, himmet, mental attitude